![]() ![]() ![]() Pretty much every single thing they do is reprehensible, but I guess in the eyes of Wong Jing, this is just women being women, and unrepentant greed, selfishness, extortion, narcissism, theft, and attempted murder is exactly the right combination of feminine charms Red Bean needs to melt Hung’s stony heart. You know the sound effect.īecause Wong Jing doesn’t like to make movies that don’t denigrate women in some way (this is a man who thinks rape is hilarious), we also have to endure harpyish con artists Red Bean (gorgeous queen of shitty Wong Jing movies, Chingmy Yau) and her even more grating and obnoxious mother (Hong Kong movie veteran Deannie Yip). It’s more like, I don’t know, someone scraping two pieces of metal together or something. 1990s wuxia villains love to yell and punch wood almost as much as they loved to laugh while beheading people to that weird “slicing flesh” sound effect that is used in like every kungfu film and sounds nothing like slicing flesh. Needless to say, Hung and Son will end up protecting the kids and settling old scores with Poison Juice Monster, who is one of those kungfu bad guys whose every line is a scream or villainous laughter that goes on for like half an hour while he punches lumber or beheads people. Meanwhile, in the background, an evil organization called the Heaven and Earth Society, lead by a crazed ex-monk named Poison Juice Monster (bald, eyebrowless Ji Chun-Hua, who played a screaming, crazy bad guy in roughly a trillion movies) - the very man who betrayed Shaolin to the Ch’ings and orchestrated the burning of the temple - is trying to track down five Shaolin pre-teens who happen to have pieces of a treasure map tattooed on their backs so that Wong Jing can put in a lot of jokes where little kids show their bare asses and fart in each others’ faces. Hung and Son spend their time wandering town to town, solving problems and stoically eating dinner. New Legend of Shaolin is basically an adaptation of the Japanese Lone Wolf and Cub series, with a grim-faced, stoic Jet Li starring as Hung Hei-Kwun, a warrior supreme who is on the lam with his kungfu-powered son, played by 1990s martial arts wunderkind Xie Miao, who never became the star everyone assumed he would become, thanks to half-assed movies like New Legend of Shaolin killing off the martial arts movie market. It’s a textbook case of by-the-numbers, don’t-give-a-shit Hong Kong film making from Wong Jing, the master of by-the-numbers, don’t-give-a-shit Hong Kong film making. It’s fight scenes are terrible but not “really terrible.” And as was almost always par for the course, the tone jumps wildly and without any transition from slapstick fart comedy to atrociously overwrought melodrama. New Legend of Shaolin, starring Jet Li when he was the undisputed king of being hoisted around on wires, is the epitome of mediocre 1990s wuxia. Even if the studio already had ten movies exactly like yours in production, producers saw no reason they couldn’t add one more to the pile. It seems like all you had to do to get your movie made was show up at a studio waving around a napkin with “guys in robes fly around, then there’s a fart joke” scrawled on it. but after that, I couldn’t be bothered anymore.During the first half of the 1990s, Hong Kong was wire-fu crazy. She also reveals that a nutritionist had advised her to cut down on her oil intake a while ago, “I did try to control for two days. She prefers fuss-free street food like danzi noodles and dumplings and, yes, hotpot. “When I see that, I feel like I don’t have that much time ,” she says. It’s why she’s not a fan of Japanese fine dining, the kind where each dish is slowly presented to the diner. She says after years of rushing through her meals on set, eating fast has become part of her lifestyle. While the rest of us mere mortals have to seek out different dieting fads and be able to count our calories like a math prodigy just to look human, not Ching Hsia. “Among the four Chinese art forms - lyre playing, chess, calligraphy, and painting - mahjong is considered a form of chess, you need to calculate and use your brains too!” She also likes to ask her friends out for a round or four of mahjong, which she insists helps one remain youthful. During her free time, Ching Hsia says she enjoys reading and is known to lie on her bed for six hours straight with her face buried in a novel. ![]()
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